Holding Steady When the Market Won’t Budge: Navigating the Emotional Toll of the Bid-Ask Spread

If you’ve been watching deals die on the table lately, you’re not alone.

In today’s real estate environment, we’re all feeling the weight of the bid-ask spread. Sellers want yesterday’s pricing. Buyers are underwriting today’s risk. And in between? Stalemate. Frustration. And for many of us—emotional exhaustion.

I’ve been in this industry long enough to know that these moments test more than your underwriting. They test your patience. Your confidence. Your ability to stay grounded when nothing is moving the way you want it to.

The Hidden Cost: Emotional Whiplash

We don’t talk enough about the emotional side of this business. The long nights spent recalculating offers that still won’t pencil. The temptation to stretch “just a little” to get a deal across the finish line. The pressure—internal and external—to do something.

In a market where uncertainty reigns and the spread between buyers and sellers can feel like a canyon, it’s easy to question your strategy, your timing, even your value as a sponsor or investor.

But let me say this clearly:
You’re not falling behind. You’re exercising discipline.

The Truth About the Spread

The bid-ask spread exists because we’re in transition. Sellers are anchored to past cap rates. Buyers are operating in a new world of interest rate risk, volatile debt markets, and muted rent growth. The numbers don’t lie—but emotions distort reality. When things aren’t moving, it feels like you’re stuck.

But you’re not stuck. You’re just in a holding pattern. And holding requires strength.

How to Stay Grounded When Deals Won’t Move

1. Reframe the Inaction
Waiting is not weakness. It's wisdom. Sometimes the strongest position you can take in a market like this is no position at all—at least for now. Preservation of capital is just as powerful as growth.

2. Use the Time
If the market isn’t letting you transact, then optimize. Revisit your current portfolio. Strengthen operations. Connect with investors. Build your capital base. Study emerging submarkets. The next opportunity will come, and you’ll be ready.

3. Trust Your Discipline
The regret of a missed deal is fleeting. The pain of overpaying in a down market is lasting. Let others chase momentum. You are playing the long game.

4. Talk About It
Connect with other operators. Talk to your mentors. Tell your investors the truth: the right deal hasn’t emerged yet. Honesty builds trust. Silence breeds doubt.

5. Remember Who You Are
You didn’t get into real estate to win every month. You came here to build something resilient. Something durable. Something lasting. That vision isn’t derailed by one frozen season.

When the Market Moves Again

Eventually, spreads compress. Sellers get more realistic. Buyers find creative capital. But when that time comes, the ones who succeeded won’t be the ones who forced a deal. They’ll be the ones who held the line.

So if you’re sitting on dry powder, waiting for the numbers to make sense—hold your ground. If you’re resisting the urge to sell low or buy high out of frustration—hold your ground. And if you’re wondering whether you’re doing enough—you are.

Sometimes the strongest move in real estate is to not move—until the time is right.